He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you traded sex for a burrito?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize