these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
