i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
