so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
