Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
