...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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