Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
