On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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