i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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