ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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