I wanna bring you to show and tell
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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