I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
