I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
