Three words: puerto rican gang bang
what day is it and did you see me today?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
