Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So much Jack, so little girl.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
