Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize