This girl is more easily done than said...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
