why didn't you poke me back
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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