Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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