i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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