So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
