The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
