careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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