I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
