She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
