how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
