Im at strip club and am horny
someone threw a dead crab at me
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
birth control should be required to get into college
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
