I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
