talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
