so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
