here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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