i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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