Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
