Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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