It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He better not be in your backpack
My bed smells like the plague
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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