Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
