No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
