Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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