easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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