his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
