Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
