i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You pole danced in your parka.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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