yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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