Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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