someone threw a dead crab at me
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
