I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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