I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
