Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
third nipple confirmed
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
