This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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