just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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