It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
