and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
