I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
What a fucking waste of an outfit
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
