sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
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