I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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