I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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