Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
