Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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