I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
