from now on my penis is your penis
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
