It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
