ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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