It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
