do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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