loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
