I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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