I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When did angry sex become our thing?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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