I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
